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BY ANNA ZALOKOSTAS

In print | October 25, 2007

As Halloween continues to get closer, it starts to seem less and less likely that my grand plan of building a giant plane that I can wear as a costume and attaching plastic toy snakes to myself will actually materialize — especially considering that such a costume would probably require me to go into Philadelphia, or at least into the Ville.

For those of us who usually leave most things, including Halloween costumes, for the last minute, but don’t really want to stop showering until Halloween and go to the party as Willets, here are some cheap, easy and non-smelly ways you can dress up without having to venture into the unknown forests that lay beyond the Swarthmore campus.

God’s Gift

Materials: gift bow, string, paper, marker

Find a big gift bow and stick it onto your chest. Make a tag for yourself that says “From: God, To: Women” and tie it around your neck. Now walk around with an arrogant smirk on your face, you great big jerk you - you’re God’s gift to women. Obviously, you can adjust this if you so please, and dress up as God’s gift to men, or even to mankind - if you are in fact so presumptuous.

Adam and Eve

Materials: leaves, courage, a few beers

This one’s for those who are a little more daring - go into the woods, find some nice large leaves and hope that the warm weather continues into next week. If you’re not quite ready to present your mostly naked body to the same people you’ll have to sit next to Monday morning, you can always wear a bathing suit or underwear underneath your ever-so-concealing costume of leaves - just make sure you bring back enough leaves to cover up the material.

Facebook

Materials: a giant foam hand

Find one of your more athletically minded friends and ask to borrow one of those foam hands that fans don at any kind of large-scale sports event. Go around poking people with it — and there you go, you’re Facebook! Creative and witty!

Tom Cruise in Risky Business

Materials: a large white button-down shirt, tube socks, sunglasses, tighty-whities

Okay, so maybe this one’s a little overdone, but I don’t think it’s quite as bad as throwing a white sheet over yourself and pretending to be a ghost. Just put on a pair of tighty-whities and a white button-down shirt, scrunch a pair of tube socks around your ankles, put on the sunglasses and slide across the floor every time you need to move.

Really Happy to See … Everyone, Apparently

Materials: a banana, a sense of humor

This one’s strictly for the boys. On your next trip to Sharples, grab a banana on your way out and bring it back to your dorm. Put it into your pocket, but not completely — make sure you can still see the top of the banana sticking out a little. When people ask what you are, say “I’m just happy to see you!” Brilliant, I say, but everyone might not share my sense of humor.

Virginia Woolf

Materials: a long dress with pockets, stones

This one’s my favorite, and though it’s intended to be a costume for girls, guys are more than welcome to try and pull this one off. Find a long, vintage dress with some pockets, tie your hair back in a low ponytail and go out and fill your pockets with stones you find around campus. Please don’t walk too close to Crum Creek, though, Ms. Virginia Woolf.

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