BY LILLIAN DUNN and ANNIE FREDRICKSON

In print | April 14, 2005

Ah, Springtime: when Nature reveals her fertile mysteries and the sun gently warms our planet, coaxing bunnies and similarly frisky college students from their dank burrows. It is the season when hemlines rise and necklines drop and, to the delight/horror of those on Parrish Beach, some shirts come off altogether. This yearly flesh-fest can reveal interesting information about people you may have otherwise thought unremarkable. During a game of pick-up Frisbee, you notice that your unassuming philosophy WA actually has killer abs. Looks like you’ll be needing some extra conferences (nudge, nudge)! It’s also a prime time to scope out hickeys in places you never thought possible, which provides creative inspiration for those post-conference conferences (wink, wink)!

But the ultimate in sexy spring surprises is always The Tattoo That No One Knew About.

While your clothes can be a daily art form or signifier of your mood or personal style, permanent tattoos exploit the body as a canvas for self-expression in a way that a tie or earrings cannot. Unless your earrings get fused to your head in some freak accident … which we actually cannot imagine, so never mind.

The Tattoo That No One Knew About has immediate shock value and is thus interesting for a few days at least, as a pickup tool and conversation starter. But as your most permanent commitment to symbolic expression, it should probably be more than a design that you impulsively picked out from the wall of a tattoo parlor. (You meant to point at the flying unicorn, but your drunken, wavering finger cost you a grinning skull with blood gushing out of its mouth, alighting delicately on your right shoulder.)

Regret-free tattoos are thoughtful, artistic, meaningful and adeptly placed. Fall not into the temptation of the tribal tattoo on your lower back, lest someone mistake you for his favorite porn star. Nor shall ye inscribe the words “Property of ______” anywhere on your body. Foreign characters are, by now, cliché and potentially mistranslated (with hilarious consequences!). After talking to several of our campus’s famously tattooed students, the most common advice given to novice inkers was to choose a design with personal significance — this can mean designing it yourself, taking it from artwork that affects you, collaboratively designing it with an arty friend or just making sure that 50 years from now you will look at your ass in the mirror and that cute fairy will still have meaning.

Beyond these simple rules, quality tattoos are always enhanced by an unexpected location. Underrepresented areas include behind the ear, back of the neck, elbow (see sexy bookstore guy), inner thigh, below the hip, tops of the toes, right under the breast/nipple or below your clavicle.

And to answer the obvious question: Yes, it hurts. It hurts like hell. But soon after the tattooing process begins, your body releases a delightful stream of endorphins that you usually receive only after running a marathon (which, reluctant power-walkers that we are, sounds even more painful). Coupled with this is the wonderfully empowering sense that “Wow! I’m actually getting a tattoo! Smile through the pain! Smile!” and the automatic street cred your suffering will earn you.

If you think you should get a tattoo, you shouldn’t. No one needs tattoos and, just like those hard drugs and/or alfredo sauce at pasta bar, you’ll regret having done it just because everyone else was. Shop around for tattoo artists, talk to them about your idea and see how they conceptualize it. Annie knew she wanted a tattoo modeled off of a famous Man Ray photograph, so she chose an artist who instantly and enthusiastically recognized her description of the picture. If you have a tattoo, remember to slather on sunblock (also instantly and enthusiastically) to protect it from fading to a nasty green color — always an unpleasant surprise on Parrish Beach in April.

Annie and Lilli are sophomores. You can reach them at ldunn1@swarthmore.edu and afredri1@swarthmore.edu.

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